The pandemic showed us we were wrong about cars. Bring them on!

This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke.

Over one year into the COVID-19 pandemic, we’ve taken some time to think about what really matters in life. And we came to the conclusion that cars are great, actually! You can come and go whenever you want, and cars can carry all your stuff! Plus, it’s easy to drive your car because there are roads that go everywhere, many of which let you drive your car really fast. And most places legally require that buildings provide a place for you to park, even in the middle of DC.

Cars! We love them!

We asked Greater Greater Washington staff, volunteers, and readers to share their favorite models , and here’s what they said:

“I love this truck because it’s high off the ground, which gives you a commanding view over the other cars. It’s got a few blind spots - for example, it’s physically impossible to see anyone walking in front of my car, including both children and adults. But when I drive it, I feel so powerful!”

“This car goes really fast! When I turn the ignition it makes a really satisfying vroom vroom sound, as it also does when I floor the gas pedal. Vroom vroom!”

“This car is blue! I don’t get impressed easily, but I couldn’t get over this color. I love that I can pick it out so easily in a big parking lot!”

“This car has so much space, I can fit all eight of my bikes in it. But I don’t really need to have eight bikes, because now I have a car!”

“This car is very small, which makes it easy to parallel park and fits into the smallest parking spaces! That’s especially useful when I need to park my other, significantly larger car next to it!”

“This is what I’m talking about! This car has 27 cupholders, so I can ride with all of my favorite beverages and never have to choose between them, which would be like choosing between my children.”

“This pickup truck is perfect for carrying lots of tools and building materials. I’m not a contractor, but if I was, this is the truck I would get!”

Aren’t cars awesome? Tell us about your favorite car in the comments!

Editor’s note: In light of news that a 4-year-old boy was killed in DC Thursday after being struck by a motorist, we have replaced our original top photo for this article.

Thumbnail: Image by the author.