Image by Kenny Louie licensed under Creative Commons.

This article was posted as an April Fool's joke.

Greater Greater Washington and WMATA are pleased to announce a new funding partnership on the heels of the dedicated funding provided by Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC announced this year. GGWash will become the official public relations contractor to represent all things Metro.

WMATA General Manager Paul Wiedefield said in Metro’s final in-house-produced statement, “We look forward to seeing Greater Greater Washington become the public relations arm of Metro, as they’ve been such staunch advocates. We also hope that this will improve the community relations and public image of Metro by putting a friendly face to the press releases.”

Some in the urbanist community have condemned the move, saying that GGWash has gone from merely being the unofficial booster club of Metro to the official booster club. We at GGWash disagree, and say that we’ve always been the official booster club in the hearts of WMATA. This partnership will allow Metro to communicate more effectively with the community due to GGWash’s growing readership at a time when Metro ridership is in decline.

Greater Greater Washington Managing Director Sarah Guidi says, “We’re thrilled to be the official communications arm of Metro! But for those of you who turned to GGWash for critical analysis of Metro in the past, have no fear. Thanks this funding arrangement, we’ve bought out @UnsuckDCMetro and will continue our critical coverage there. Also, come visit us at our new offices at the now-permanent Grovsenor Metro pop-up, courtesy of WMATA!”

As part of this roll-out of PR duties, there will be an article series with profiles of interesting tidbits about Metro, titled “Metro Tracking!” For example, there will be articles about all of the stub tracks and unrealized potential additions to Metro lines, like quad tracking and a Boring Company partnership to create tunnels exclusively for Georgetown residents to Farragut Square and back. There will also be requisite Metro safety happy hours to the tune of the ‘Safety Dance’ hosted by GGWash.

The upcoming products and services thanks to this partnership will include 7000-series themed sweatpants and yoga pants, as well as pom-poms in the color of your favorite line (yes, even purple)! One of our favorite features will be lycra shorts for our bike lobby in Helvetica and in the classic colors of brown, stainless steel, and muddled red. Be sure to check out our products today at ggwash.org/sellouts.