Photo by tata_aka_T.

This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke.

What’s your song?: “Performance parking” will now require you to give an actual performance. To park at meters in a new pilot zone, drivers will have to sing a short song or do a dance. The better the performance, the more minutes the meter will allow. (Michael P)
Oh, I see: Councilmember Jim Graham (Ward 1) rode public transit yesterday for the first time. “Honestly, I had no idea it was this bad. Why didn’t anyone say anything?” he asked. “At least it was a good deal.” Graham spent the next 15 minutes walking around looking for an empty parking space before realizing he didn’t need one. (Michael P.)
New Fenty scandal brews: After following the Mayor around in a van for months, WTOP discovered more cronyism and favoritism among Adrian Fenty’s innermost circle. A relative named Aerin Fenty has reportedly been providing the mayor with drawings that exhibit only rudimentary skill and flattering him. In exchange, the mayor has been providing housing and even meals free of cost. Whether she or the mayor have higher ambitions is uncertain, but opponents say she could be working under Michelle Rhee soon. Says one neighbor, “It’s only a matter of time before we see her wreaking havoc in the school system.” (Neil)
A new west lot does a lot: The Architect of the Capitol paved a new overflow parking lot on the Mall last weekend. Members of Congress, suddenly able to reach their work even faster, were finally able to pass a climate change bill. (Eric F.)
Never heard of it: A mysterious wilderness, which some historians say is called “Franklin Park,” was discovered in the center of DC near 14th and K Streets. Reporters can’t find anyone who’s been there. According to legend, the elusive J Street runs through the middle of the park. (Neil, Eric F.)
Prince George’s, Fairfax propose transit friendly developments: In PG, new transit-adjacent petro-chemical storage tanks are expected to create a “vibrant urban environment” and generate “more transit riders than empty fields do now”. In Fairfax, higher density should boost Metro ridership. Planners say, “by decreasing the width of parking spaces, we can increase auto storage density at some of the outlying stops.”
Last links: This will be the last set of breakfast or dinner links. Instead, we will simply automatically post each day stock links about the 5-cent bag fee and cyclists running stop signs. Comment volume is expected to increase exponentially.