This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke.
Five people are currently vying for the chance to occupy the White House this November, but only one will win. This is a classic supply and demand problem, and the solution is simple: Build more housing.
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW is an extremely low-density property, with 82 acres housing a population of only 5 people (and a very small amount of office space). Even without adding new buildings, the existing one could become a taller apartment building with plenty of room for the Clintons, Sanderses, Trumps, Cruzes, and Kasichs, even without changes to Washington, DC’s federal height limit.
This building is also located in a gated community with large open spaces around it which serve little purpose. They are off-limits to most pedestrian foot traffic and residents of the exclusive community are rarely seen using them either. The Ellipse, just to the south, is largely used as a parking lot. Developing some of these open areas could have provided even more housing.
The exclusionary nature of this area has already prevented numerous families from being able to move here. According to news reports, families from Florida, New Jersey, Maryland, Kentucky, Arkansas, California, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Texas, Wisconsin, Louisiana, Rhode Island, South Carolina, and others gave up on their hopes of being able to move here for a better job. The lack of available housing is an clear impediment to labor mobility.
Historic preservationists and other groups may complain about such a move. After all, this house is one of many which tour groups frequently pass by on their tours, and some (but not all) US Presidents lived here, adding to its historic value.
However, Washington has many historic buildings; this one is not as architecturally interesting as the office building next door to the west. The National Park Service, which controls the area, is so under-funded it may have to shut down a bridge which carries 68,000 vehicles a day. NPS needs to prioritize its funds and not waste so much money on a property which few people can enjoy.
Original architect James Hoban actually proposed a larger building, but changed his initial design, supposedly to better reflect the “monumental” nature of Washington, DC. As Kriston Capps put it, it’s a “Hoban cut off at the hipbone.” “It’s a perfect architectural metaphor for the almost-urbanism that characterizes life in Washington,” he wrote.
Candidates react to the idea
Reached on his corporate jet, Donald Trump said, “I think it’s terrific. I can make a great deal to build this and I’m working with the GSA on the hotel down the street which will open early and will be the best hotel in all of DC. I’m good at building things. I’m the best. I have built so many things. Good things, you know, really good things. I know how to build. I have the skills, the best skills. And I can get this done. And I have great taste in furniture, the best taste. We’ll increase the quality of the finishes substantially, marble finishes, very, very high quality of luxury marble, the most luxurious marble you’ve ever seen. Just phenomenal luxury.”
Based on the District’s inclusionary zoning ordinance, the new White House will be required to include one affordable dwelling unit, which will likely go to Marco Rubio.
In a press release, Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager said they’d worked out an agreement to use the basement to build an ultra-secure server room inaccessible to the House of Representatives.
Reached on the campaign trail in Wisconsin, Ted Cruz expressed his opposition to the proposal. “I’m an outsider. I don’t need a building to live inside.”
The Burlington, Vermont headquarters of Bernie Sanders’ campaign sent this statement: “This is why we need to break up the big banks and make sure everyday Americans benefit instead of just Wall Street and big corporations.”
While many are excited about the 1600 Penn project’s increased density, others have expressed concern that this is simply another situation where developers will trigger displacement of another black family from a neighborhood with an overwhelming percentage of African-American residents according to the 2010 Census.
Still, this neighborhood is very close to ample parks, stores, jobs, and transportation, including multiple Metro stations. The low quantity of housing is a clear public policy failure. Let’s end the Lafayette Square housing crisis immediately.