Image by NCinDC licensed under Creative Commons.

In recent years there have been a slew of think pieces discussing the “sudden” popularity of co-living, though the practice of non-related adults living under the same roof literally dates back to the Middle Ages.

Some people are co-living because they think it's hip, because they're seeking deeper human connections, or because they're living on a limited income and have few affordable options.

In the District, there are a great number of small households but not enough lower cost small housing units, even relative to other cities. This partly explains why group houses, which combine several small households into one large housing unit, are so common here.

This isn't merely a recent phenomenon. DC is home to some very famous historical group houses, like the radical lesbian communal house called The Furies Collective on 11th Street SE, which had an outsized influence on the feminist movement and on indie media. The House of Truth in Dupont Circle was a hotbed of bohemian intellectuals in its heyday.

More recently, infamous examples like the Alpha House, the frat-style home of some of the most powerful men in Washington, have gotten a lot of media attention. However, there are also more wholesome examples of politicians living together, like these four lawmakers who bonded over baseball.

Whether you’re a student, a recent graduate, a cash-strapped member of Congress tired of sleeping in your office, or just sob uncontrollably when you look at the price of a one-bedroom apartment, spending some time in a group house here is something of a rite of passage.

Of course, it wouldn’t be DC without a little gatekeeping, so the following questions will help determine if you’re a real group house veteran:

1. Do you live in a house?

a. Yes
b. No

2. How many housemates (other than you) do you currently have?

a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4+
e. Not entirely sure

3. What’s the lease situation?

a. We’re all on the same lease with the landlord.
b. We each have a separate lease with the landlord.
c. A fellow tenant and/or property manager leases the house and sublets the rooms.
d. Uh, lease? I just Venmo my rent to Mike every month.

4. How do you handle common expenses?

a. We all contribute to a house fund.
b. There’s no formal system, but it pretty much evens out.
c. Have an intern steal from the Longworth cafeteria.
d. When supplies dwindle, we scrounge like sewer rats until someone has a nervous breakdown and buys some damn paper towels.

5. What’s the cleaning schedule?

a. We keep a rotating list of chores updated weekly.
b. Everyone takes care of their own space like adult humans.
c. Nothing has been cleaned since approximately 2006. The dust under the sink is an ANC commissioner.

6. Who’s that guy sleeping on the couch?

a. Steve’s friend from college who was supposed to leave three days ago.
b. Gabriella’s sister’s boyfriend in town for a college visit.
c. I think he won the Alabama Senate runoff?
d. Wait, I thought you knew him.

7. Who owns the one nice cooking pot?

a. Mike
b. Whoever used it last
c. This information, if it were ever known, has been lost to the sands of time.
d. “Ownership” is an outdated capitalist conceit that has no place in The Collective.

8. What’s the relationship with the neighbors like?

a. They are the godparents to my child
b. We hang out frequently
c. We go there for Game of Thrones since they have HBO and a better TV
d. Sometimes we feed their cat when they’re out of town
e. We exchange polite nods in the street
f. We studiously avoid eye contact in the street
g. They are older, quieter, and have lived here for approximately 100 years, so naturally they loathe us.

9. What do people in the house do? (check all that apply)

a. Intern
b. Hill staffer
c. Bureaucrat
d. Think Tanker
e. Lobbyist
f. Consultant/Contractor (defense)
g. Consultant/Contractor (non-defense discretionary)
h. Work at the State Department
i. Work at the “State Department”
j. Private sector, for-profit (lol)
k. Bartender/Barista
l. Pot grower (for personal use and donation purposes only, of course)
m. Have rich parents
n. Rent out crummy rowhouses at exorbitant prices
o. Unclear

10. What’s your next move?

a. A nicer group house with fewer roommates
b. An apartment to myself
c. Move in with SO
d. Buy house
e. Buy condo
f. Governor’s mansion, if I can really rock the next fundraising cycle
g. Buy something, anything within 100 miles of DC
h. Wait for those sweet, sweet, TOPA rights to kick in, until death if necessary
i. Move to Columbus, Ohio, where the Cost of Living is More Living Than Cost™

If you answered A to question one and anything other than A to question two–congrats, you live in a DC group house! The rest was just a pointless bureaucratic exercise to distract you from the pain of living through a drastic housing shortage.

Ben Lockshin works in public affairs by day, does theater and improv by night, and is a nerd about transit, housing, and urban development at all times. His play CAVEAT, a comedy about four young adults searching for affordable housing in DC, ran at the 2017 Capital Fringe Festival. He lives car-free in Park View.