Image by sean_mcgee on Flickr.

Does your baby have colic? Make your baby think he’s in a car! The baby will imagine the open highway, dream of road trips yet to come, think of the jobs created in Detroit, envision his future fighting traffic every day on his commute, visualize circling endlessly for parking, and prepare himself to develop asthma thanks to the pollution choking his air.

That’s the promise of the SleepTight infant soother, which claims to be far more effective than medication at curing colic by “simulat[ing] the sound and motion of a car going 55 mph.” The site doesn’t specify whether this car sound resembles the higher-end sports car noises which also supposedly arouse women.

Or maybe it’s just that gentle vibration and white noise help soothe a baby, whether resembling a car or anything else.

Tip: Ken Archer.

Tagged: cars, roads

David Alpert created Greater Greater Washington in 2008 and was its executive director until 2020. He formerly worked in tech and has lived in the Boston, San Francisco Bay, and New York metro areas in addition to Washington, DC. He lives with his wife and two children in Dupont Circle.